The Backpack

Christa Doran Uncategorized 5 Comments

I do my best to balance on the heels of my blue suede pumps as a hazy and delicious IPA sloshes around in the mason jar I cling to with both hands and I answer one of my least favorite questions… “So…how are you?” Tonight, I don’t mind that she asked me this question, and I take a moment, staring …

Truth Telling: I See You.

Christa Doran Uncategorized 25 Comments

I fumble clumsily in the dark, trying get my alarm to silence, pull my sweatshirt over my head and check in… what is my truth today? Too early, I decide. Coffee first. A piping hot dark roast with just enough cream is filled to the brim of my favorite insulated mug and I snuggle up with a blanket and a …

Truth Telling Day One: The Painted Face

Christa Doran Uncategorized 30 Comments

Like opposing ends of a magnet being pulled towards each other, I felt drawn to her. I approached slowly, studying her face, her body, her eyes and her surroundings. She is so sad, I thought to myself. I wondered why her face was painted black and her hair cut short unlike any of the other women that I saw when …

Imposter

Christa Doran Uncategorized 18 Comments

Please check all that apply. Tired. Check. Trouble sleeping. Check. Sadness. Check. Depressed. Question mark. I walk the plastic clipboard back to the window, return to one of the gray seats that fill the waiting room and start to ponder my answers. I wonder if anyone has ever put a question mark next to depressed. I don’t think I am depressed… …

The Dark and The Light

Christa Doran Uncategorized 7 Comments

Pain changes your life forever. But so does healing from it. -Kayil York I woke up on the angry side of the bed today. It happens a lot. So this is how today is going to be. Ok. But I hate this. I hate the tears that are already forming in my eyes before I even have the chance to brew my …

Storms & Wonderings

Christa Doran Uncategorized 5 Comments

Once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But when you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what the storm’s all about. -Haruki Murakami I was told she turned the …

Enduring The Grief

Christa Doran Uncategorized 13 Comments

I had my own notion of grief. I thought it was a sad time that followed the death of someone you love. And you had to push through it to get to the other side. But I’m learning there is no other side. There is no pushing through. But rather, there is absorption. Adjustment. Acceptance. And grief is not something …

Resilience

Christa Doran Uncategorized 10 Comments

“Man never made any material as resilient as the human spirit.” – Bernard Williams Resilience: The capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness. Five weeks. The amount of time she has been gone, leaving a gaping hole in our hearts, and what feels like a huge age gap between Liv, 9, and Keira, 4. The amount of time it took for …

Me, Bravely.

Christa Doran Uncategorized 13 Comments

Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don’t give up. -Anne Lamott Too many “good” days in a row usually means a kink in the line and a breakdown to follow. The weekend was sunny …

The Tornado

Christa Doran Uncategorized 21 Comments

To love someone fiercely, to believe in something with your whole heart, to celebrate a fleeting moment in time, to fully engage in a life that doesn’t come with guarantees- these are the risks that involve vulnerability and often pain…I’m learning that recognizing and leaning into the discomfort of vulnerability teaches us now to live with joy, gratitude, and grace. …