The Bleeding Heart

Christa Doran Uncategorized 11 Comments

The wound is where the light enters you Rumi We have a table of family photos that sits behind the couch in our living room. Today I went in and noticed one photo had fallen over. I picked it up and my face softened as five faces smiled joyfully back at me. It was one of my all time favorite …

I surrender

Christa Doran Uncategorized 12 Comments

She never seemed shattered; to me, she was a breathtaking mosaic of the battles she’s won.  -Matt Baker One of my all time favorite photos of my “squad” popped up today as Lea was being sedated for her fifth MRI in six months. A lot can change in a year I thought to myself as I sat in the same …

The Pit

Christa Doran Uncategorized 11 Comments

“What can I get you to drink?” “I’ll have a wine… actually, I’ll have a vodka soda please.” Something stronger, to numb the pain… I thought to myself as we sat at dinner, just ten minutes after finding out Lea’s tumor is growing. “Progressing,” as they call it. As a strength coach, I use the word progress a lot. Progress …

Maybe.

Christa Doran Uncategorized 26 Comments

“Big parts of us got broken, of our hearts, minds and beings. Yet we keep getting up, lurching on. We dance with limps.” -Anne Lamott This morning I woke up with a sense of heaviness and sadness. I wished I could pull the warm covers over my head and go back to sleep. There are mornings, like today, when I …

From scratch

Christa Doran Uncategorized 13 Comments

And every day, the world will drag you by the hand, yelling, “This is important! And this is important! And this is important! You need to worry about this! And this! And this!” And each day it’s up to you to yank your hand back to your heart and say, “No. This is what’s important.” -Iain Thomas My eyes lit …

White Denim Regret & A New Year

Christa Doran Uncategorized 29 Comments

Perhaps the butterfly is proof that you can go through a great deal of darkness yet become something beautiful. In my opinion, a snow day is the perfect opportunity to organize all things you just never seem to have the time to. I approached the pile of clothes hidden in the corner of my laundry room with vigor. You will …

The Most Wonderful Time of The Year…

Christa Doran Uncategorized 9 Comments

…something very beautiful happens to people when their world has fallen apart: a humility, a nobility, a higher intelligence emerges at just the point when our knees hit the floor. -Marianne Williamson Unlike the Macy’s Santa we saw just one day prior, the Santa at the Jimmy Fund clinic in Dana Farber knew better than to wish us health in …

Breakable

Christa Doran Uncategorized 11 Comments

Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don’t give up. -Anne Lamott “There she is” I thought to myself as I drove Liv and Lea home from school on Tuesday. I could hear her sweet …

A New Normal

Christa Doran Uncategorized 14 Comments

You are braver than you believe, smarter than you seem, and stronger than you think. Winnie-the-Pooh Thanksgiving morning we sat cuddled up on the couch watching the parade. The turkey was in the oven cooking, I was still cozy in my jammies with fresh coffee in hand, and my girls were all around me. Thankful. In years past I remember …

Smiling Through The Suffering

Christa Doran Uncategorized 4 Comments

You do not get to choose the events that come your way nor the sorrows that interrupt your life. They will likely be a surprise to you, catching you off guard and unprepared. You may hold your head in your hands and lament your weak condition and wonder what you ought to do. To suffer, that is common to all. …