The Most Wonderful Time of The Year…

Christa Doran Uncategorized 9 Comments

…something very beautiful happens to people when their world has fallen apart: a humility, a nobility, a higher intelligence emerges at just the point when our knees hit the floor. -Marianne Williamson Unlike the Macy’s Santa we saw just one day prior, the Santa at the Jimmy Fund clinic in Dana Farber knew better than to wish us health in …

Breakable

Christa Doran Uncategorized 11 Comments

Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don’t give up. -Anne Lamott “There she is” I thought to myself as I drove Liv and Lea home from school on Tuesday. I could hear her sweet …

A New Normal

Christa Doran Uncategorized 14 Comments

You are braver than you believe, smarter than you seem, and stronger than you think. Winnie-the-Pooh Thanksgiving morning we sat cuddled up on the couch watching the parade. The turkey was in the oven cooking, I was still cozy in my jammies with fresh coffee in hand, and my girls were all around me. Thankful. In years past I remember …

Smiling Through The Suffering

Christa Doran Uncategorized 4 Comments

You do not get to choose the events that come your way nor the sorrows that interrupt your life. They will likely be a surprise to you, catching you off guard and unprepared. You may hold your head in your hands and lament your weak condition and wonder what you ought to do. To suffer, that is common to all. …

Stranger Things & Finding Good.

Christa Doran Uncategorized 3 Comments

The Netflix hit with the cult following Stranger Things has become an excellent distraction over the past two weeks. Tuesday night I needed just that as the start of Lea’s clinical trial was looming the next morning. With only two episodes to go on season one (yes, I am late to the game) I cozied up on the coach with a …

Chocolate Stains & Clinical Trials

Christa Doran Uncategorized 3 Comments

Lea dripped ice cream over my bright white duvet cover months ago during one of our many middle of the night steroid feeds. Back when she still needed ice cream to get the four small white pills down. Back when this was all fresh and new, but no less scary than it is today. Back when we didn’t have an …

Hydrangeas and Gaping Holes

Christa Doran Uncategorized 19 Comments

Disclosure: This blog was written from a time when I “go dark” as I call it. A time where it is hard for me to find joy and happiness and sorrow seems to swallow me whole. Some stories are shared from a place of joy and light, but this post is not one of them.  When we moved into our …

Honeymoon for Five

Christa Doran Uncategorized 6 Comments

The Bob Marley Pandora station plays through the speakers of our white rental car, as we drive down 5th avenue in our favorite place, Naples, Florida. “What song is this?” Keira asks, as she always does with her curious three year old mind. “A lie” I mutter, just loud enough for Mike to hear and respond with a comment. The song …

Monsters & Miracles

Christa Doran Uncategorized 21 Comments

I walked down the stairs and found my mom curled up in the chair of our living room, as I usually do on weekday mornings. This morning I could tell something was different. “Grandma died last night.” We all knew this was coming, it was no shock or surprise, but I still shed tears for a woman I have known …

Resilience and Reminders

Christa Doran Uncategorized 1 Comment

Man never made any material as resilient as the human spirit.  -Bernard Williams What is happening around the world seems to match what is happening in our own lives. At times you feel hopeless, the darkness and sadness seems to swallow you whole, and you mourn the loss. This post is not about the mourning or the tears, but about …