Just Keep Swimming

Christa Doran Uncategorized 2 Comments

The Smilow Cancer Hospital Radiation department has the biggest fish tank in the hospital. I wish I was still blissfully unaware of this “fun fact” but the truth is, I see this fish tank five days a week. Today is not a good day for me and I wish I could trade places with the fish I am gazing at …

Brides and Braids

Christa Doran Uncategorized 3 Comments

There’s my bride! Mike jokingly exclaimed as I entered “his side” of our gym early Saturday morning. Oh yea, today is our anniversary… I mumbled as the athletes in the room clapped for us and Mike made another joke about the past eleven years being all rainbows and bliss. Eleven years ago I stood on the alter in my satin …

Salty

Christa Doran Uncategorized 26 Comments

My salty tears matched that of the salty water, just steps away from my feet on what looked like a perfect weekend.  If you didn’t know our current situation, one might glance at the picture above and only see the amazing landscape, beautiful sunshine, salt water, good wine, plentiful food and loving family. Now all I see is a family …

Stolen Joy

Christa Doran Uncategorized 7 Comments

Today, the weather matched my mood. Gray and stormy, with the occasional rain shower. Last night I was searching for an “official” explanation for DIPG and below it several questions were listed. What is the survival rate for DIPG? Don’t click it. You don’t want to read that. Click. Scan. Gut drop. 2%. 98% of kids with DIPG die within …

Missed Trips & Finding Joy

Christa Doran Uncategorized 8 Comments

My fingertips glided along the mouse of my MacBook Air as I scanned the long list of emails that filled my inbox. What did I miss…. I asked myself as I went back to the date before this awful journey began. The past (almost) month has been quite a blur. Combine that with receiving the most emails, texts and social …

Doing Hard Jobs

Christa Doran Uncategorized 24 Comments

Yesterday Lea completed week one of radiation, or as Cara, the child life specialist calls it, one of her “hard jobs”. This was the same day she should have been starting first grade. I didn’t think it would be a big deal for me, I know how to be strong, and Liv needed her parents excited on her first day …

Angry

Christa Doran Uncategorized 27 Comments

I rode the wave for as long as it would last. I wrote, I coached, I laughed and I smiled, and then it came crashing down on me and I sat once again in my anger and sadness. Anger over the fact that my Lea is not the same joyful girl with sparkling eyes. Anger over the fact that she …

Why us?

Christa Doran Uncategorized 34 Comments

Pediatric cancer. Two words that should never go together. I looked around the waiting room filled with other kids effected by this horrible disease. My eyes kept filling up with tears thinking about all they are going through. All Lea is going through. This is not fair. I hate this. Why us? Why? This can’t be happening… Those phrases echo …

Never the Same

Christa Doran Uncategorized 1 Comment

Thursday, August 10: Our lives changed forever After Lea’s balance and coordination became significantly impaired over the last few days (among other very concerning things) we took her to our doctor who suggested we go right to the Yale ER for tests. Lea went in for a MRI on Thursday, which showed an inoperable brain tumor. Friday Lea had surgery …